Conversation as we were pulling into our cul-de-sac...
Me: Watch that cat!
Andy: Why?
Me: It might run out in front of us.
A: So? It'll just get run over...
Me: Don't say that! If that'd happened you'd have a very upset woman on your hands...
A: They shouldn't be outside then.
Me: We'll if we had a cat I wouldn't let it be an outside cat
A: We aren't ever having a cat. I hate them.
Me: Yes we will, someday
A: NO, we won't. I hate them.
Me: Says he who won't ever put Daisy down.
A: Daisy's different.
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
And what a party it was...
The fact that everyone was willing to drive an hour to celebrate with me was enough in itself.
The fact that I received lovely gifts and a large number of yummy, alcohol fueled drinks made it even better. 
The fact that the food was the so scrumptious, right down to the coleslaw will give me something to dream about for a few weeks. I don't often eat ribs... but my God, they were so good I not only finished my half rack, but finished off Andy's and had a taste of Julie's since she had a different flavour. It was all fantastic.
I indulged in drinks I haven't had in years, including Black Russians and Harvey Wallbangers. But I regret none of it! 
We woke up the next morning and headed back to the restaurant for even more. I haven't had pancakes so delicious since I was in Nova Scotia. Yummy!
Here's to another year growing older with loved ones by my side or if not by my side than close to my heart.
I'm a lucky girl - I know that.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
How quickly they grow
When I first met Andy's children, there was a certain level of cautious trepidation on all of our parts. The older two were of course more hesitant than Connor, who seemed happy to accept me right from the get go. It didn't take long for Alex to follow suit, and I'm happy to say that Tasha and I have now seemed to reach a really great place in our relationship. She now turns to me when she needs help with certain things, i.e. a trip to the doctor or help with her CV. Its a good feeling. I knew that it would probably come with time, and time has done its thing.
Time has also brought with it a change that took me by surprise momentarily, but in hindsight I just see it for what it is: someone is growing up.
Not long after I moved here, Connor in his 7 year old innocence asked if he could call me mom. Because he has a mom, who often experiences great moments of insecurity, I didn't think this would be the best idea. Connor although he agreed, felt that my role warranted a special name and set about thinking of one. As it was Christmas when I first moved here a small tree was up in the apartment and on it were a few decorations I'd brought from home. One of them was a small little Angel with the name 'jojo' written on it.
Connor asked who Jojo was. I told him it was me. He asked where the name originated from and I explained to him that my Godson, Gavin (who was of similar age to Connor) has called me that from being a baby, since he couldn't pronounce Jody. Connor looked contemplative about this for a moment, trying to make up his mind if he was bothered that another boy held my heart as well. Then he remarked... Jojo is a good name. Can I call you that too? And of course I relented, why wouldn't I. And so I became Jojo not only to Gavin and his sister, as well as some of my family back home who'd begun using it as well, but to Connor. The other kids and Andy quickly adopted the more common nickname of Jods, something Dawn started and it has stuck. At work that is all I am ever referred to. Jody is almost non-existent.
But here I am digressing as usual.
On Wednesday of last week, Connor came into the room to ask me a question and began with Jods... I noticed, but didn't make anything of it. The next morning, he again referred to me by Jods. And just now, when he was kicking my ass at guitar hero, he called me it again. I think its time to acknowledge that he has let go of Jojo in favour of the more adult Jods.
I'm satisfied with that, although a little saddened. But they can't stay little forever, as much as we'd sometimes like them to. I reckon Gavin won't be far behind :)
When I first met Andy's children, there was a certain level of cautious trepidation on all of our parts. The older two were of course more hesitant than Connor, who seemed happy to accept me right from the get go. It didn't take long for Alex to follow suit, and I'm happy to say that Tasha and I have now seemed to reach a really great place in our relationship. She now turns to me when she needs help with certain things, i.e. a trip to the doctor or help with her CV. Its a good feeling. I knew that it would probably come with time, and time has done its thing.
Time has also brought with it a change that took me by surprise momentarily, but in hindsight I just see it for what it is: someone is growing up.
Not long after I moved here, Connor in his 7 year old innocence asked if he could call me mom. Because he has a mom, who often experiences great moments of insecurity, I didn't think this would be the best idea. Connor although he agreed, felt that my role warranted a special name and set about thinking of one. As it was Christmas when I first moved here a small tree was up in the apartment and on it were a few decorations I'd brought from home. One of them was a small little Angel with the name 'jojo' written on it.
Connor asked who Jojo was. I told him it was me. He asked where the name originated from and I explained to him that my Godson, Gavin (who was of similar age to Connor) has called me that from being a baby, since he couldn't pronounce Jody. Connor looked contemplative about this for a moment, trying to make up his mind if he was bothered that another boy held my heart as well. Then he remarked... Jojo is a good name. Can I call you that too? And of course I relented, why wouldn't I. And so I became Jojo not only to Gavin and his sister, as well as some of my family back home who'd begun using it as well, but to Connor. The other kids and Andy quickly adopted the more common nickname of Jods, something Dawn started and it has stuck. At work that is all I am ever referred to. Jody is almost non-existent.
But here I am digressing as usual.
On Wednesday of last week, Connor came into the room to ask me a question and began with Jods... I noticed, but didn't make anything of it. The next morning, he again referred to me by Jods. And just now, when he was kicking my ass at guitar hero, he called me it again. I think its time to acknowledge that he has let go of Jojo in favour of the more adult Jods.
I'm satisfied with that, although a little saddened. But they can't stay little forever, as much as we'd sometimes like them to. I reckon Gavin won't be far behind :)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Laugh if you must
For any of you that know Molly, you know that when she even hears the name Abby she goes a little ballistic. She only has to hear the jingle of Abby's tags outside the house and she's whimpering and whinging and acting a little nuts. Trying to stop the two of them from being together is only asking for trouble. The best thing to do when they run to greet each other on the field is to STAY OUT OF THE WAY.
Today, I made the mistake of doing just the opposite. I thought because they had already done their crazy dance of estatic joy on the front lawn, that I was safe.
I thought wrong.
I had just stepped on to the field to greet Elaine when I sort of saw the beige/black blur of dogball that was Molly and Abby right behind me. I felt the force of their combined weight on the back of my knees and realized I was going down. I actually had time to think of this, considering I was airborne. My right arm and shoulder took the brunt of my weight, while my hip took the remainder.
Did we laugh? Of course... it was funny, the boys even came across the road to say thanks for the laugh. We laughed even harder when I saw the pile of dog doo that I'd missed by two inches.
Am laughing now? Not really. I'm relieved that I seem to have healthy bones that don't break easily, but my shoulder and arm muscles could care less about my bones. They aren't openly screaming at me for landing on them, but they are nagging at me for not watching what the dogs were doing.
I think I'll skip the gym tonight and opt for a glass or two of wine and a hot bath :) 
Molly and Abby
Sunday, January 20, 2008
When I see these cuties, I can't help but want one of my very own :)
Catherine's Mackenzie
Valentina's Lilyan
Most of you all know who owns beautiful Lily and how she came to be so I need not elaborate.
Catherine and Hunter welcomed little Mackenzie Grace on 22nd December. She's the most tiny, delicate person, who fills her momma's heart with a whole lot of joy.
I have a few more friends, both here and back in Nova Scotia who have recently delivered, or are about to, and I just have to say, it sure doesn't help the baby broodiness ;) The more I keep seeing pictures the more I crave one for my own. Should I be so lucky? Who knows. I just know that at this very moment in time I'm not 100% ready. Will I ever be? Who knows... Will it even happen? Chances are not likely. But we might surprise you someday and go for it.
I won't lie and say that I wouldn't hope for a little girl, because as far as I'm concerned I have two lovable rogues already. (And you don't have to tell me I'd love whatever I get, because I know that already ;)
Saturday, January 05, 2008
And so begins another year
2008 sees me entering my fifth year here in England.
As time goes by I have come to accept this as my home and know that I will be spending much more time here than I had initially anticipated.
Am I ok with this?
Yes, I think I am, here is where my husband is, where my new friends are, and where my job is. A job is easily replaceable, but I've made a commitment to Andy and his children and we have a life here. But it doesn't mean my old life and all that it involved doesn't remain close to my heart, my thoughts. And living here has to continue to be a good life, full of joy and commitment if its going to work for us. I think that's fair to say. I do realize no one knows what life has in store for the future and I'm sure we'll have hard times in front of us, but to get through these we need the ones we love most around us.
This year was a year full of mixed emotions for me. I can't turn around and say it was a terrible year, because although I went through a time late in the year where I really didn't think I could cope with circumstances and wondered if I would really manage to go the distance. But I did prevail, because I do have an extreme amount of commitment and faith in my new family.
For the first time since I've moved over here, last year was more about myself and settling here than at any other time. This year I did not have to deal with the the constant 'occurrences' with Andy's ex, or wondering what was happening with the kids, Alex is here to stay. I didn't have to deal with immigration or visas; There was no one needing care and attention other than the children, although this is something I am always happy to do - families look out for one another be they kin or not.
I got to see my family, and although it was not the trip I had been eagerly anticipating for 14 months, there will be at least one trip home to see them all again this year.
Andy and I travelled quite a bit, some of our destinations were fantastic, one or two a bit more work than others, but hey, not everything will be perfect. I had a nice time seeing a bit more of the world. I love to travel with my husband and hope we have many more journeys in the coming year.
I also hope to see a few loved ones on this side of the pond again... last year we had Dawn come to stay for three weeks and it meant the world. I love having fellow Canucks in the house. Maybe this year will bring someone who has not yet come this way, although I'm not pressuring my mother - she will come when she is ready; at least she now has a passport :)
I think this year will be another chance to delve I've deep into my heart and see who I am, where I want to be. I'm not generally someone who wants a lot. These days I'm happy to be in our home reading or pottering about. I look forward to the weekends when my husband comes home, but again, although we like to get out and experience different things, I do enjoy being in our cozy home having a peaceful night in. And I want that peace inside of me... I so want contentment.
I send congratulations to all of my dear friends who have been blessed with a child in the past year, some of you very recently :) I know you already realize how lucky you are and will embrace every moment with your baby girls.
I look forward to seeing those of you we don't often get to see and hope for wonderfully, amusing and lovely times together. I don't think that's asking for a lot really :)
2008 sees me entering my fifth year here in England.
As time goes by I have come to accept this as my home and know that I will be spending much more time here than I had initially anticipated.
Am I ok with this?
Yes, I think I am, here is where my husband is, where my new friends are, and where my job is. A job is easily replaceable, but I've made a commitment to Andy and his children and we have a life here. But it doesn't mean my old life and all that it involved doesn't remain close to my heart, my thoughts. And living here has to continue to be a good life, full of joy and commitment if its going to work for us. I think that's fair to say. I do realize no one knows what life has in store for the future and I'm sure we'll have hard times in front of us, but to get through these we need the ones we love most around us.
This year was a year full of mixed emotions for me. I can't turn around and say it was a terrible year, because although I went through a time late in the year where I really didn't think I could cope with circumstances and wondered if I would really manage to go the distance. But I did prevail, because I do have an extreme amount of commitment and faith in my new family.
For the first time since I've moved over here, last year was more about myself and settling here than at any other time. This year I did not have to deal with the the constant 'occurrences' with Andy's ex, or wondering what was happening with the kids, Alex is here to stay. I didn't have to deal with immigration or visas; There was no one needing care and attention other than the children, although this is something I am always happy to do - families look out for one another be they kin or not.
I got to see my family, and although it was not the trip I had been eagerly anticipating for 14 months, there will be at least one trip home to see them all again this year.
Andy and I travelled quite a bit, some of our destinations were fantastic, one or two a bit more work than others, but hey, not everything will be perfect. I had a nice time seeing a bit more of the world. I love to travel with my husband and hope we have many more journeys in the coming year.
I also hope to see a few loved ones on this side of the pond again... last year we had Dawn come to stay for three weeks and it meant the world. I love having fellow Canucks in the house. Maybe this year will bring someone who has not yet come this way, although I'm not pressuring my mother - she will come when she is ready; at least she now has a passport :)
I think this year will be another chance to delve I've deep into my heart and see who I am, where I want to be. I'm not generally someone who wants a lot. These days I'm happy to be in our home reading or pottering about. I look forward to the weekends when my husband comes home, but again, although we like to get out and experience different things, I do enjoy being in our cozy home having a peaceful night in. And I want that peace inside of me... I so want contentment.
I send congratulations to all of my dear friends who have been blessed with a child in the past year, some of you very recently :) I know you already realize how lucky you are and will embrace every moment with your baby girls.
I look forward to seeing those of you we don't often get to see and hope for wonderfully, amusing and lovely times together. I don't think that's asking for a lot really :)
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas Prep
Normally we go to Andy's parent's for Christmas Day lunch, but this year, we've decided to have Wendy, Dave and Clair around to our house and will cook for them. Especially in light of the fact we our in our new, bigger home and Andy received a lovely turkey from work.
We have to borrow the table from Wendy, as we use our dining room as a tv room for the kids, and Wendy is supplying the desert, but thanks to the help of my wonderful friend Carol-Anne, this it what I'm planning on fixin for Christmas Lunch:
Roast Turkey, wrapped in bacon
filled with a pork & cranberry stuffing
homemade roast potatoes, parnsips and carrots
plus, steamed broccoli and mashed turnip
Yorkshire Pudding and bacon wrapped mini sausages
I will also endeavour to make homemade cranberry sauce.
I've been baking a lot lately, using my mom's recipe's, but also with the aid of a great website I found through Tina's site.
Tonight Alex and I made Gina's cherry balls, and The Rock's, Chocolate Chip Squares, which don't look exactly like this, but do taste quite nice ;) .jpg)
I'd love to try making chocolate snowballs but as I seem to have trouble making macaroons, I think snowballs are out of my league at this moment in time.
This weekend I will however make more Melting Moments, shortbread cookies I've made once already that have managed to dissapear in a few short days.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A few of my favourite things...
Today I have managed to have Christmas Lunch with the gang from my old office; it was so good to see everyone.
I also managed to get up to the shopping centre for a few bits and as of an hour ago, my last package is ready to go, and tomorrow I will be sending it off, along with a few Christmas cards. While getting this stuff ready, I even managed to wrap a couple of other gifts.
I've got two sleeping girls (Molly and her best friend) here at my feet as I type away on my comfy sofa in the glow of our Christmas tree; which also happens to smell divine.
I like this time of year, the expectation and preparation of Christmas. Even though my family and friends back home are kept close in my heart, I'd have to say it is the only downfall of the whole season, being far away from them. Well, that and the fact that chances of seeing a proper snowfall are almost null and void.
I'm not your skivvy
Something I find rather amusing happened at work today.
Annie was having a impromtu meeting with two other people, one being a woman who works with us on Tuesdays only - I'll refer to her as M. Because Annie was rather 'rushed' this morning, I volunteered to make coffee for them.
I was sitting at my desk during a rather hectic moment when I turned around and noticed M (who I get along with quite well) standing behind me. I was getting up to rush somewhere when she motioned the three empty coffee mugs in her hand.
'What's that'? I asked in response to something she said that I hadn't heard.
'Oh', she smiled... 'I was just saying I would take these back down to the kitchen for you'
She realized the moment the words left her mouth that she had said the wrong thing.
I quickly replied... 'For me??? Those aren't my mugs, they're yours... whatever gave you the impression I was responsible for them?
I do love winding people up when making a truthful point ;)
Today I have managed to have Christmas Lunch with the gang from my old office; it was so good to see everyone.
I also managed to get up to the shopping centre for a few bits and as of an hour ago, my last package is ready to go, and tomorrow I will be sending it off, along with a few Christmas cards. While getting this stuff ready, I even managed to wrap a couple of other gifts.
I've got two sleeping girls (Molly and her best friend) here at my feet as I type away on my comfy sofa in the glow of our Christmas tree; which also happens to smell divine.
I like this time of year, the expectation and preparation of Christmas. Even though my family and friends back home are kept close in my heart, I'd have to say it is the only downfall of the whole season, being far away from them. Well, that and the fact that chances of seeing a proper snowfall are almost null and void.
I'm not your skivvy
Something I find rather amusing happened at work today.
Annie was having a impromtu meeting with two other people, one being a woman who works with us on Tuesdays only - I'll refer to her as M. Because Annie was rather 'rushed' this morning, I volunteered to make coffee for them.
I was sitting at my desk during a rather hectic moment when I turned around and noticed M (who I get along with quite well) standing behind me. I was getting up to rush somewhere when she motioned the three empty coffee mugs in her hand.
'What's that'? I asked in response to something she said that I hadn't heard.
'Oh', she smiled... 'I was just saying I would take these back down to the kitchen for you'
She realized the moment the words left her mouth that she had said the wrong thing.
I quickly replied... 'For me??? Those aren't my mugs, they're yours... whatever gave you the impression I was responsible for them?
I do love winding people up when making a truthful point ;)
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Surprising myself
I've just spent the last few hours baking and prepping for my Candle Party tomorrow evening. After a few short hours (and careful instruction from my mom) I now have chocolate macaroons & cherry balls chilling in the fridge. Hopefully there will be some resemblance to Gina's and people don't discreetly spit them back into their napkins!
I also have a hedgehog (cheeseball) chilling, which I at least know will be ok, as I've made one a few times prior. Tomorrow I will chop up some pita and vegetables for a tray to lay out with some of the dips I have (a few I even brought all the way form NS).
This is the first time I've really sat down all day as I also spent the afternoon at the Brigg Garden Centre with Wendy and Beryl. We wanted to check out the wonderful Christmas display they put on each year and weren't disappointed. After we had a scrummy lunch, I quite cheerfully dropped about £70 on Christmas decorations including lights for the outside of the house, something Andy and I have wanted to do since living together, but not so easily done when linked to three other homes. Now that we have a single family home there's no reason not to decorate it. I've already laid out a few Christmas bits but will go full out next weekend when we go pick out our tree.
I do so want this Christmas to be lovely and I'm trying to roll with the whole spirit notion. I think it might just be working, and may even kick into overdrive as soon as I break out the Bailey's on ice ;) and maybe a movie or two - as Dawn says, Elf anyone?.
I only wish I knew how to make apple cider!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Top of my Christmas List
Years ago, I read this book:
I adore Ken Follett's writing and The Pillars of the Earth held me enraptured for the short time it took me to read it. It is hands down one of my most favoured books. I keep meaning to read it again.
Now, more than ever, there is no reason not to. Because not only has Ken finally written another book he has written this:
which amazingly enough, happens to be a sequel to Pillars.
I've let my husband know that to find both hardback books under the tree on Christmas morning would make me a very happy girl.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Something similar to disbelief :)
I say this for a few reasons:
~ Today I started and just about completed my Christmas shopping for those back at home.
~ Its quiet and peaceful here as both boys are at their mother's for the evening.
~ And as I sit here I'm listening to the whoosh of the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher.
After nearly four long years I am again living in a home with a dishwasher. When I first moved here I didn't think I'd ever get used to not having one. Washing dishes by hand? Ick. However we didn't have room for one in our last little house and after a few years went by, I slowly got used to washing up by hand. Unfortunately, my hands have paid the penalty for it.
Now that we are living in a bigger house and I finally agreed to us purchasing one (believe it or not, it didn't seem as important anymore!?!) Its going to take some getting used to, but I don't think it will take long :) And with Andy's parents and sister joining us for Christmas Dinner, I think I will definitely be thankful for this mod con come Christmas Day.
Not to mention whenever we have any other small gatherings :)
I say this for a few reasons:
~ Today I started and just about completed my Christmas shopping for those back at home.
~ Its quiet and peaceful here as both boys are at their mother's for the evening.
~ And as I sit here I'm listening to the whoosh of the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher.
After nearly four long years I am again living in a home with a dishwasher. When I first moved here I didn't think I'd ever get used to not having one. Washing dishes by hand? Ick. However we didn't have room for one in our last little house and after a few years went by, I slowly got used to washing up by hand. Unfortunately, my hands have paid the penalty for it.
Now that we are living in a bigger house and I finally agreed to us purchasing one (believe it or not, it didn't seem as important anymore!?!) Its going to take some getting used to, but I don't think it will take long :) And with Andy's parents and sister joining us for Christmas Dinner, I think I will definitely be thankful for this mod con come Christmas Day.
Not to mention whenever we have any other small gatherings :)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
For every season...
Wow. So much has happened since I last blogged I truly don't know where to start.
I have been going through a few things of my own, however they are nothing I can't surpass. Ultimately family and friends are what is most important in life and I thank God everyday for these blessings in my life, both here and at home.
In the past month I have been fortunate enough to feel the warmth of my mother's arms around me, of her unconditional love, to laugh and cry with my sisters, brother and close friends, to feel the embrace of all my boys upon my return to the UK. I have felt the joy of our very dear friends Valentina and Mike, upon the birth of their beautiful baby girl, Lilyan Arwen; I have also felt the sadness of a childhood friend at the loss of her father, a man who was taken from this world much too early.
Life gives us some unexpected curve balls, for sure. It is who we have with us that helps us through these times. Be they good or bad (times ;).
Because life has thrown us a few curve balls lately, both in our personal and work lives, Andy and I decided to treat ourselves to a break in London. We stayed in luxury at the Marriott Hotel London, where we were treated to a champagne breakfast and enjoyed the delights of the wonderfully 'wicked' show Wicked, in the West End of London.
Now I feel the cold in the air as it quickly changes from Autumn into Winter and I'm thinking of things to come. I have Christmas to prepare for. This year I'm actually going to try and make it the best it can be, and actually look forward to it. Andy and I have vowed to really make a start at creating our own traditions, as a family. This I am looking forward to more than anything.
Wow. So much has happened since I last blogged I truly don't know where to start.
I have been going through a few things of my own, however they are nothing I can't surpass. Ultimately family and friends are what is most important in life and I thank God everyday for these blessings in my life, both here and at home.
In the past month I have been fortunate enough to feel the warmth of my mother's arms around me, of her unconditional love, to laugh and cry with my sisters, brother and close friends, to feel the embrace of all my boys upon my return to the UK. I have felt the joy of our very dear friends Valentina and Mike, upon the birth of their beautiful baby girl, Lilyan Arwen; I have also felt the sadness of a childhood friend at the loss of her father, a man who was taken from this world much too early.
Life gives us some unexpected curve balls, for sure. It is who we have with us that helps us through these times. Be they good or bad (times ;).
Because life has thrown us a few curve balls lately, both in our personal and work lives, Andy and I decided to treat ourselves to a break in London. We stayed in luxury at the Marriott Hotel London, where we were treated to a champagne breakfast and enjoyed the delights of the wonderfully 'wicked' show Wicked, in the West End of London.
Now I feel the cold in the air as it quickly changes from Autumn into Winter and I'm thinking of things to come. I have Christmas to prepare for. This year I'm actually going to try and make it the best it can be, and actually look forward to it. Andy and I have vowed to really make a start at creating our own traditions, as a family. This I am looking forward to more than anything.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Anticipation...
I've just finished watching Grey's and between sipping some wine and having Molly stare at me intermittently, I'm thinking of events to come, eagerly anticipating most.
Tomorrow I'm shopping and lunching with two close friends and tomorrow night my husband is taking me out to a lovely restaurant to celebrate our third year anniversary, since I will be in Canada for the actual date. I've bought a new outfit to wear for him and I don't know if I'm more psyched about that or the actual meal. The top can be either sexily racy or more modest depending on how I will wear it, but either way I think he's going to like it just a lot, especially if I prove to be brave.
On Saturday Andy, Alex and I are paintballing with friends from work and I'm a bit apprehensive about this, as I fear I'm going to get creamed. Both Andy and Rob have expressed an interest in popping more than few off at me. Hopefully I will surprise them and myself by proving to be a better shot, but I think I stand more chance of winning the next edition of Britain's Next Top Model.
Right.
Some have called me crazy for doing this just before heading home, and perhaps they are correct - I'm more than likely to be covered in bruises on Sunday but my mind will be otherwise preoccupied as I try and figure out what to pack for my journey home on Monday...
I've just finished watching Grey's and between sipping some wine and having Molly stare at me intermittently, I'm thinking of events to come, eagerly anticipating most.
Tomorrow I'm shopping and lunching with two close friends and tomorrow night my husband is taking me out to a lovely restaurant to celebrate our third year anniversary, since I will be in Canada for the actual date. I've bought a new outfit to wear for him and I don't know if I'm more psyched about that or the actual meal. The top can be either sexily racy or more modest depending on how I will wear it, but either way I think he's going to like it just a lot, especially if I prove to be brave.
On Saturday Andy, Alex and I are paintballing with friends from work and I'm a bit apprehensive about this, as I fear I'm going to get creamed. Both Andy and Rob have expressed an interest in popping more than few off at me. Hopefully I will surprise them and myself by proving to be a better shot, but I think I stand more chance of winning the next edition of Britain's Next Top Model.
Right.
Some have called me crazy for doing this just before heading home, and perhaps they are correct - I'm more than likely to be covered in bruises on Sunday but my mind will be otherwise preoccupied as I try and figure out what to pack for my journey home on Monday...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Breathing In
Today I'm still feeling a bit tired but other than that I've completely rallied (as I knew I would). It wouldn't have been so easy if I A) Didn't have the husband that I do, and B) Work with an amazing bunch of people.
In hindsight, I see that the mistake I made was one that anyone could have made whilst distracted. It still doesn't make myself any less mad, but I realize there is nothing I can do about it but move on, which I'm beginning to do.
As for everything else that was bugging me, well a lot of its still on my mind but I had my little 'purge' and for that I feel a lot better. Its the people that can't rant and rave every now and then that I feel for.
The weather here has turned amazingly cold - I can't believe its only the middle of September. It feels like the first of November. Either way, I'll breath in that crisp air and get on with it. I've got bigger things to worry about - like what to pack.
Today I'm still feeling a bit tired but other than that I've completely rallied (as I knew I would). It wouldn't have been so easy if I A) Didn't have the husband that I do, and B) Work with an amazing bunch of people.
In hindsight, I see that the mistake I made was one that anyone could have made whilst distracted. It still doesn't make myself any less mad, but I realize there is nothing I can do about it but move on, which I'm beginning to do.
As for everything else that was bugging me, well a lot of its still on my mind but I had my little 'purge' and for that I feel a lot better. Its the people that can't rant and rave every now and then that I feel for.
The weather here has turned amazingly cold - I can't believe its only the middle of September. It feels like the first of November. Either way, I'll breath in that crisp air and get on with it. I've got bigger things to worry about - like what to pack.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
The word crazy isn't in my blog title for no reason...
Rational me says that tomorrow morning I'm going to feel much better. Calm and easy-going me, knows that in a few days, even hours, this will pass and I will look back and wonder how I could let myself fall into this little corner of crazy I enter into at least twice a year.
Maybe I need psychological help. Maybe I'm beyond that. I have had psychological help before for variant reasons and I don't know if it helps. I think deep down we all have this little, tiny piece that is utterly and completely nuts. I like to think that I'm being half-way healthy, even if I save it all up until my head feels as if it might explode and then bang, I let it out. That has to be better than letting it all build up and not doing anything about it. I'm trying not to focus too much on it as I sit here tonight. I should be up in bed beside my husband but instead I choose to be downstairs drinking my diet pepsi and trying to get some work done, even thought its after midnight. Once finished this post, I'll get down to work. Sleep won't be coming easy tonight.
The damn inside me has been trying to break ever since I was the cause of a screw-up at work on Wednesday. I've received a load of support from my co-workers over it, and I do realize that I am human and prone to making mistakes, but I have such a feeling of disappointment hanging over my head. I haven't screwed up this big in well, never. And to do so at this point in the job just multiplies the level of disappointment I am feeling in myself. It'll pass, I'm sure of it, but at the moment, I'm really feeling it... and to talk about it in this forum is taking a lot of guts on my behalf. I'm not looking for a rub on the back to reaffirm that mistakes are made, I just want to be honest with myself - I know I'm not the only one who has made a mistake - I just have to learn from it and remember that its nothing to be wrapped in a blanket of humiliation over. We all go through tough moments in life, its just important to ensure we come out on the positive side...
Tonight though, Andy and I watched The Last Kiss, probably not such a good idea when I was feeling slightly out of sorts to begin with. I suppose because of this, it brought up a lot of old, forgotten emotions within me. It really made me angry and it got me thinking of certain unpleasant events in the long ago past. As I lay in bed my mind started whirling out of control, fretting over work, my broodiness, my family, going home, and these old, old memories. I thought my head was going to explode. But my husband was there for me tonight and he's spent the last hour and a half listening to me as I ventured into crazytown and back. But I'm back now, and feeling that little bit better.
Time to go and get some work done, leave that messed up place behind, at least for another 6-8 months :)
Rational me says that tomorrow morning I'm going to feel much better. Calm and easy-going me, knows that in a few days, even hours, this will pass and I will look back and wonder how I could let myself fall into this little corner of crazy I enter into at least twice a year.
Maybe I need psychological help. Maybe I'm beyond that. I have had psychological help before for variant reasons and I don't know if it helps. I think deep down we all have this little, tiny piece that is utterly and completely nuts. I like to think that I'm being half-way healthy, even if I save it all up until my head feels as if it might explode and then bang, I let it out. That has to be better than letting it all build up and not doing anything about it. I'm trying not to focus too much on it as I sit here tonight. I should be up in bed beside my husband but instead I choose to be downstairs drinking my diet pepsi and trying to get some work done, even thought its after midnight. Once finished this post, I'll get down to work. Sleep won't be coming easy tonight.
The damn inside me has been trying to break ever since I was the cause of a screw-up at work on Wednesday. I've received a load of support from my co-workers over it, and I do realize that I am human and prone to making mistakes, but I have such a feeling of disappointment hanging over my head. I haven't screwed up this big in well, never. And to do so at this point in the job just multiplies the level of disappointment I am feeling in myself. It'll pass, I'm sure of it, but at the moment, I'm really feeling it... and to talk about it in this forum is taking a lot of guts on my behalf. I'm not looking for a rub on the back to reaffirm that mistakes are made, I just want to be honest with myself - I know I'm not the only one who has made a mistake - I just have to learn from it and remember that its nothing to be wrapped in a blanket of humiliation over. We all go through tough moments in life, its just important to ensure we come out on the positive side...
Tonight though, Andy and I watched The Last Kiss, probably not such a good idea when I was feeling slightly out of sorts to begin with. I suppose because of this, it brought up a lot of old, forgotten emotions within me. It really made me angry and it got me thinking of certain unpleasant events in the long ago past. As I lay in bed my mind started whirling out of control, fretting over work, my broodiness, my family, going home, and these old, old memories. I thought my head was going to explode. But my husband was there for me tonight and he's spent the last hour and a half listening to me as I ventured into crazytown and back. But I'm back now, and feeling that little bit better.
Time to go and get some work done, leave that messed up place behind, at least for another 6-8 months :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
They say Canadians are the friendliest bunch...
If you are an animal lover, hell, even if you're not, you need to to go here and check out this amazing slidewshow.
If I'd have been with Molly I'd have wet myself.
Birthday Girl
Happy Birthday to one of the sweetest women I know, shortly to become an amazing mom.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
What am I missing?
I make sure they get up for school in the morning.
I make lunch and dinner for them everyday (they usually help themselves at breakfast).
I clean up after their meals.
I wash, hang out and iron their clothes.
I schedule and then drive them to their appointments, and sit waiting patiently, sometimes for over an hour.
I'm in contact with the school over attendance, course work and behaviour issues.
I attend parent/teacher nights.
I make alternate arrangements for their care when I myself can't do it.
I set boundaries.
I often listen to whinging and moaning as to why they aren't allowed to do something.
I make sure they have their bath/shower and are in bed at a decent hour.
I help with homework.
I sometimes have to hear an awful lot of back chat.
I taxi them to where they need to be.
I take them shopping.
I buy food that they like to eat.
I ensure that they get enough vegetables in their diet.
I get loads of cuddles.
I spend time with them talking about what is important to them, be it the certain bike part that want, or what they might want to do when they are grown.
I take them to movies and other activities and often enjoy it as much as I would with a mate.
I comfort them when they are upset.
I have a great laugh with them.
I listen.
I'm always there when they need me.
I love them.
Whilst in conversation regarding children and mobile phones, someone insinuated that my opinion really doesn't matter, or basically I don't know what I'm talking about, because I don't have children of my own. Her actual words were 'Your not living in the real world'.
Other than missing out on pregnancy, labour and delivery, and the initial few years of their life, I would have thought that I do the same thing any mother does. Some would reckon I do more than some mothers do.
Will somebody tell me what the difference is? And don't tell me its love because I wouldn't do what I do if love wasn't a factor.
I make sure they get up for school in the morning.
I make lunch and dinner for them everyday (they usually help themselves at breakfast).
I clean up after their meals.
I wash, hang out and iron their clothes.
I schedule and then drive them to their appointments, and sit waiting patiently, sometimes for over an hour.
I'm in contact with the school over attendance, course work and behaviour issues.
I attend parent/teacher nights.
I make alternate arrangements for their care when I myself can't do it.
I set boundaries.
I often listen to whinging and moaning as to why they aren't allowed to do something.
I make sure they have their bath/shower and are in bed at a decent hour.
I help with homework.
I sometimes have to hear an awful lot of back chat.
I taxi them to where they need to be.
I take them shopping.
I buy food that they like to eat.
I ensure that they get enough vegetables in their diet.
I get loads of cuddles.
I spend time with them talking about what is important to them, be it the certain bike part that want, or what they might want to do when they are grown.
I take them to movies and other activities and often enjoy it as much as I would with a mate.
I comfort them when they are upset.
I have a great laugh with them.
I listen.
I'm always there when they need me.
I love them.
Whilst in conversation regarding children and mobile phones, someone insinuated that my opinion really doesn't matter, or basically I don't know what I'm talking about, because I don't have children of my own. Her actual words were 'Your not living in the real world'.
Other than missing out on pregnancy, labour and delivery, and the initial few years of their life, I would have thought that I do the same thing any mother does. Some would reckon I do more than some mothers do.
Will somebody tell me what the difference is? And don't tell me its love because I wouldn't do what I do if love wasn't a factor.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Going Home
Yesterday, I purchased my ticket to go back home for 18 days.
For nearly four years I've lived abroad in a country I was always fascinated with, but never actually thought I'd live in. I've been embraced by the people in the town I now call home and they have certainly helped in my quest to make a new life for myself. I love my job, but more importantly, the people I work with, and for. I have such an amazing group of friends now that it actually brings a pain to my heart to know that someday, I will have to say good-bye to them as well.
I've been totally enveloped in the love of Andy's family, especially his parents. His children are another matter - I have come to love his children like my own and I know the feelings are reciprocated in full, at least with the boys. Natasha and I are slowly but surely finding our way.
In this new world, I have settled into a life that I never envisaged for myself, primarily having stepchildren, but it is a life I choose to live, not only because I love my husband and would do anything for him, but because now I could never imagine being without them. I realize that wherever I may go I will have the love and support of my husband and our family. The fact that I get to share this amazing new existence with the love of my life is astounding. Not very many people are this fortunate.
Andy always promised me that he would back me 100% in all my endeavours, and one very important wish of mine was to ensure I got to go home to Nova Scotia at least once a year. So far, he has kept that promise to me. We are lucky enough to be able to travel often and I look forward to every place that is yet to be discovered by the two of us. We've already been to quite a few countries but here is where I tell you, I never, ever get the feeling down deep inside of me that I have at this very moment, when I'm holding the ticket in my possession that will take me home.
Home to my first family, my mother and father and my precious sisters and brother. To the people who have known me my whole life, and if not that long, than for the better part of it. Home to all my oldest friends and places where I have some of my best memories. Home to breathe the fresh coastal air and walk in the places that I can only dream of doing from so far away, especially during one of my favourite seasons (autumn isn't so noticeable in this part of the world). Home to where I fell in love with the man who would end up taking me so far, but in so many variant and positive ways.
My heart is bursting and I just want to shout it aloud:
I'm going home :)
Yesterday, I purchased my ticket to go back home for 18 days.
For nearly four years I've lived abroad in a country I was always fascinated with, but never actually thought I'd live in. I've been embraced by the people in the town I now call home and they have certainly helped in my quest to make a new life for myself. I love my job, but more importantly, the people I work with, and for. I have such an amazing group of friends now that it actually brings a pain to my heart to know that someday, I will have to say good-bye to them as well.
I've been totally enveloped in the love of Andy's family, especially his parents. His children are another matter - I have come to love his children like my own and I know the feelings are reciprocated in full, at least with the boys. Natasha and I are slowly but surely finding our way.
In this new world, I have settled into a life that I never envisaged for myself, primarily having stepchildren, but it is a life I choose to live, not only because I love my husband and would do anything for him, but because now I could never imagine being without them. I realize that wherever I may go I will have the love and support of my husband and our family. The fact that I get to share this amazing new existence with the love of my life is astounding. Not very many people are this fortunate.
Andy always promised me that he would back me 100% in all my endeavours, and one very important wish of mine was to ensure I got to go home to Nova Scotia at least once a year. So far, he has kept that promise to me. We are lucky enough to be able to travel often and I look forward to every place that is yet to be discovered by the two of us. We've already been to quite a few countries but here is where I tell you, I never, ever get the feeling down deep inside of me that I have at this very moment, when I'm holding the ticket in my possession that will take me home.
Home to my first family, my mother and father and my precious sisters and brother. To the people who have known me my whole life, and if not that long, than for the better part of it. Home to all my oldest friends and places where I have some of my best memories. Home to breathe the fresh coastal air and walk in the places that I can only dream of doing from so far away, especially during one of my favourite seasons (autumn isn't so noticeable in this part of the world). Home to where I fell in love with the man who would end up taking me so far, but in so many variant and positive ways.
My heart is bursting and I just want to shout it aloud:
I'm going home :)
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