Disoriented



The latter hours of Wednesday night found us all down by the Halifax waterfront getting Henna tattoos and watching the Buskers. Being down in the city on such a warm night, with so much going on in such a relaxed atmosphere was a great way to end the trip. We had a lot of laughs but as the night progressed and the nostalgia began hitting me, I found myself sometimes holding back tears. I managed to hold up until they boys were hugging Dawn goodbye outside her apartment building. I listened as Andy thanked her for everything and then managed to get out 'what Andy just said' as I knew I would be overcome with tears if I said more. I think she understood. Alex asked me why I sounded like I was going to cry as we were driving away and Andy replied 'Too late mate, she already is', where upon I felt a soft touch on my elbow.

Thursday came and although I was glad to have the majority of the day to spend with my family, it was an emotional one to get through. My mother and I both had moments where we both tried hard not to cry (to no avail) and as I sat at the dining room table watching members of our family laugh and smile, I couldn't help but tear up once again. Watching our boys play with Wayne's twins, (especially how Alex loved taking care of them), and seeing my smiling Aunts and cousins as we all ate cake and laughed at the antics of the boys, made me smile. However at the same time it made me wish that things could be different, that my two families didn't have to be so far apart. By the time we said goodbye, I wasn't the only one teared up - both Aunt Marg and Aunt Shirley were shedding a few as we said goodbye and loaded into the van for the ride to the airport.

I suppose there are some who would find me silly and over-emotional, say it's not like I'm not going back to see them all again, which is true, but at the same time I am very close to my family and although I have found a new life here, I miss them all every day. I'll miss the constant care my mother took of our boys, the way she loves to 'mother' us all, the long talks we had, the joy my father found in taking the boys out in his truck, or showing them new things. I'll miss seeing the boys tease Stacy and wind her up to no end, I'll miss the smell of Nova Scotia. But I won't forget it, never had. And there is always the phone and email/msn.

Our time in Nova Scotia was the best holiday we could have wished for as a family. There were some of you we did not get to see, or didn't see enough and I am sorry for that. There are those of you who made an extra special effort to get to us and for that we are eternally grateful. I will blog more about what we did and saw when I get a moment.

Although I am back, I still feel as if my heart is back in Nova Scotia. I will feel this for another day or two, but I know from experience that in a week or so I will be back into the full swing of life in England.

I do, however know that this ss all worth it, especially when on the plane ride home Alex looked up at me and said 'I want to go back to Canada' and Connor later looked up at me during a cuddle and said 'I love you Jojo'. Being here with them is the right thing. I am blessed to have two such loving families in both countries and I loved taking the boys home. I can't wait for next time.