A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Friday, August 06, 2010

Batter Up!

Many of my readers are aware of the fact that I have bizarre sleep patterns; despite this each night I look forward to crawling into bed with a great book and a glass of water on the nightstand.  Andy has tried unsuccessfully over the years to get me to turn the light out when he is done doing his crossword and is ready to go to sleep. Because I have the touch lamp on the lowest setting (which I must say is very low), I often continue to read for awhile longer and sometimes he complains.  I therefore only read for about 15 minutes when often I could easily read for twice that long.  (Note: occasionally when I'm really tired I only manage a page or two and put my book down before Andy is ready to sleep).  I also am aware that some nights, like last night he has a very early start (5:00 am) the next day and I won't read for very long at all, so you see, I can be understanding and meet him halfway.

My point though is that Andy has always known that I like to read before going to sleep, that on nights when I don't read prior to turning the lights out I am often unsettled, unable to drift off for sometimes hours; and then we both lose sleep.  I've pointed out numerous times that we have two extra bedrooms, with a bed in each that he is more than welcome to. Heck, I'd even sleep in one of the extra beds if it meant he can go to sleep in a room without a lamp on (at its lowest setting)  if it bothers him that much.  But he doesn't want that and nor do I.  As much as I tease him, I don't mind sharing a room (I'm used to it after all) and have actually become much more thoughtful toward my roommate now that I'm no longer a teenager who consistently stays up until 6 am talking on the phone to whomever the flavour of the week is. 

Its also fair to inform you that I've had to adapt to wearing ear plugs at night because believe it or not, my husband isn't a perfect roommate either - he snores.  It was an adjustment but I dealt with it.  (I'd had a bit of practice when I briefly shared a room with my sister Sandra - that girl snored like a freight train coming through the room at 100 mile an hour; it was so obnoxiously loud it was a wonder I didn't smother her.)

But back to my initial ramble.

I actually like knowing Andy is there beside me at night, curled into me (when I'm in the mood for cuddling that is) and ready to calm me down when I wake up with my peculiar night terrors.  I'm beginning to think though that our sleeping arrangement might not last much longer if this strange nocturnal behaviour continues;  it's getting pretty dangerous for my husband to actually share a bed with me.  Up until now its just been shouting out, crying, laughing like a hyena or seeing things that only I can see (in other words, that aren't there). 

However the other morning my actions turned a corner.  I was jolted wide awake by my husband shouting the words 'What the fuck?????' I was startled and I too jumped up. It may be hard to believe but this is not the way we normally get out of bed in the morning;  It turns out I had pressed my face into his back and... are you ready for this people? 

I bit him.  I bit my husband's back while he was peacefully snoring beside me.

Luckily enough he moved fast enough so that I wasn't able to sink my teeth in far enough to break the skin.  He was a little peeved, I was a little shocked.  But not so shocked I didn't roar with laughter.  I mean, seriously - who does that? It was so insane and unbelievable that I could only laugh.  Oddly enough I can vaguely remember what my dream was and it did involve biting something, just not my husband.  Still, I couldn't stop laughing and even after he braved getting back in beside me I was still laughing.  Kudos to him, so was he. 

This week has passed with a fair amount of teasing regarding what happened, small references being made about my eating more at night so I don't wake up hungry. And still, Andy is determined that it won't drive him out of our room and for that I'm pleased - I honestly did not do that on purpose, it wasn't a devious plan to get him into another bed.  He is brave to continue to sleep with me and I love him for that even though I don't think I could brave it if was the reverse.  I did speak to a  professional about this behaviour though and my feelings were only re-affirmed:

Not much can be done about this; I'm not prepared to take medication for it as there isn't any guarantee that it will solve the problem.  This sleep issue isn't actually my problem, not really  as its technically Andy who has to sleep with one eye open; just as his snoring isn't his problem, its mine as it doesn't keep him awake at night, just me.

Give and take.  That's what being in a marriage is all about.

However it is an added bonus when both people are able to go to sleep without being kept awake by the dull roar of a helicopter in the bed, or the fear of what might happen to you physically during the night, but even more concerning, the thought that your bedmate might pull a baseball bat out from under the bed in defence of potential biting hazards.

Thank God I left all my baseball bats in Nova Scotia...:)


JBrown31 said...

She's a man-eater!

Laraf123 said...

Staying next to you through all this? Maybe you call it brave--I call it love.

Here's hoping the the worst of the sleep problems will pass eventually. I do not have troubles to this extreme but lay awake my fair share of hours. (One exception, a 3 am earthquake that woke everyone and their brother in my state. I slept right through it--what's that about?

Fern Wimpley said...

First, love the new signature at the bottom!
Second, I find it funny that I got Mom's sleeping habits and you and Tawn certainly didn't.
Speaking of bed, I'm off to get ready for that now. But my bed is only occupied by myself and a fluffy kitty named Daisy (although she is often at risk of me rolling over on her as I do love to take up the whole bed :)

dawn mclaughlin said...

Haha! Wow.

(And I agree- love the signature!!)

Tawny said...

I laughed so hard when I read this. Taylor, on the other hand, didn't find it very funny :).

A few weeks ago I woke up and for some reason, I thought that Clara was in bed next to me. I was about to reswaddle her and bring her back to her crib - when I fully woke and realized it was Taylor :).

Ps. My sleep doctor told me that eating a big meal or drinking before bed at night can bring on these kind of episodes. I try to avoid either before going to sleep. Also stress is a big factor as well.

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