The Last Day
Last night I was taking what is seemingly becoming the norm around here now which is my hourly long bath; after I had done the usual, made a few calls, sipped my wine, paid the bills etc all the while topping myself up with hot water,I got to thinking about the year gone by, and the year yet to come.
For many of our close friends and family, it has been a wonderful year if only for the reason they have been given one of God's greatest blessings: a baby. In comparison to everything else that might be going wrong, how can a family be kept down in the doldrums when they have such a beautiful gift amongst them.
Yet for so many I realize that it hasn't been a particularly great year especially when it comes to health and losing loved ones. For myself, the past year has been one of the best yet, but in some ways one of the hardest. For Andy and I as a couple, it has probably been one of our best. Financially we have been hit in the solar plexus and it seems as if we are still trying to get our breath back, and will be for some time, however aside from our finances we've had a pretty good year.
It is when I think of those of you who have had to say good-bye to a loved one that I am able to take deep breaths and get on with life when I think of the one agonizing issue I had to confront this year. I choose for a number of reasons not to write about this issue on my blog, nor anywhere else that is accessible by the public. I realize there are many other blogs out there devoted to just this exact subject and although some might find them helpful, I try and not visit them often as it results in a number of mixed emotions and at this point in time I believe that the best thing I can do for myself is just get on with it. I don't want to go through life angry; I had resigned myself to the fact that I will probably have to go through life sad, at least deep down, but that is something I just don't want to do either.
So as the last eve of the year is upon us, the one where people often scramble to come up with resolutions that most don't even intend to keep, I have decided to promise myself one thing, and I must see it through: This year I'm going to do all I can to accept that while some dreams certainly do come true, others don't and that we can't always have what we want, no matter how the heart longs for it; that life really could be so much worse.
I hope that the end of 2009 gives you all something good to reflect back on and that 2010 brings with it all the love you need and the strength to pursue your dreams.
Because when you look at the bigger picture, life is good.