A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Don't tell me you wouldn't look...

On Friday evening as I was cleaning the ensuite bathroom Andy came to find me (he'd been ironing in the back room).  This is how the conversation played out:

Andy: Jods, the guy in the house behind us is having it on with his girlfriend - in the kitchen.

Me:  What?  What are you on about?- you're just putting me on.  Besides, he has a wife (well I think they are married).

Andy: I'm not lying honest, go look.  Besides his wife left ages ago, he has a new girlfriend and he's doing her on the kitchen table.

Me:  How do you know that?  Geez you seem to know a lot about what the neighbours get up to, you nosy parker.

Andy:  I can't help it if I spend a lot of time in this room and can see directly into his house!  Anyway, go look...

I went to Connor's room to have a look and could see nothing. It was dark in the kitchen across the way and very difficult to see anything, never mind what Andy was describing.

I went back into my bedroom and carried on with my cleaning.

Andy (who came back in around five minutes later):  Well, did you see them?

Me:  No - I didn't see anything!  They are NOT doing that in the kitchen, I knew you were making it up.

He then proceeded to get me to follow him into the  back spare room, as apparently Connor's room wasn't the right angle for seeing down into the neighbour's kitchen.  He told me to watch for the white t-shirt the guy had on;  Yup, there he was going at it with his girlfriend.  You couldn't see much, but it was obvious.

Me:  Oh my God... I can't believe it.  I still don't know how you managed to see it, you'd miss it if you blinked.

Andy:  I was ironing and it was more obvious when they started... oh and get back from the window, if he looks up he will see you.

Me (as I back up slightly):  I don't care, he shouldn't be in plain view if he doesn't want an audience.  Get me the binoculars would ya?' 

Andy:  Jods!  You can't do that!  You're so bold!.

Me:  Well its your fault, you showed me!  Besides, you're so nosy.  I was just going about my cleaning and minding my own business.  Now I'm looking at our neighbours get it on... 

(A minute or so later I went back to cleaning my bathroom as there really was't much to see.)

About 15 minutes later Andy was outside getting ready to mow the lawn and I went to find him to see what he wanted for dinner and I noticed the couple were now out in the garden playing with the girlfriend's dog.  (She definitely wasn't the gal who used to live with him, wife or not.)  Andy asked if I wanted to go out for something to eat. I responded with a big grin: 'Only if you take me over the kitchen table first.'


Tina said...

Ahahaha. Don't let your boys read the blog. They'll never want to eat at the table again! Ahahahaha

Andy said...

I had a wonderful dinner :) Bet u cant guess what i had? ;)

Laraf123 said...

The "get the binoculars" line cracked me up!

Valentina said...

Histerical! and I would probably have asked for the binoculars too!!! HA HA HA :)))