A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Every relationship has its ups and downs and I've always said that we never know exactly what goes on between two people who choose to live out their lives together, except the couple involved.

I often try to sit back and not take sides, or be judgemental when I hear this person is having an affair, or that one spends too much time on the drink, etc. I especially try to remain impartial when couples I know are splitting up. Its harder when you know one half of the couple better than the other and even harder when you are very close to both people and can often see for yourself the strain that is threatening to crack whatever delicate bridge is left holding that relationship together.

At the moment I have a very dear friend who has tried to seperate from her husband in the most adult and pain free manner as she possibly can. She has gone way beyond what is considered reasonable to ensure her daughter remains as unaffected as possible that mom & dad are no longer together. I commend her for this because so many people in this world have chosen to take the bitter route and not only meander down it at a tepid speed, but race head long into it with all their might, forgetting their children are at the heart of everything.

On the other hand I hear of those people who divorce and although they might not like each other very much anymore, meet over children's parties, or school events and manage to smile at each other and exchange one or two nice words. I have had one friend who had her ex husband over for Christmas Dinner with her and the kids, when she would have much rather have gone to her parents.

Some of my friends whom are divorced go out and buy the children presents for the other parent on such occasions as birthday's and Christmas in order that the children have something to give to their mother or father. We included do this. Luckily for our kids though, they have me to buy for their dad, and if they didn't have me, they'd have Andy's parents. We would never expect them to try and come up with the funds out of their own pocket money to buy & wrap presents for the other parent. And this is not something we do for the children's mother, its what we do for them. I know if I was a divorced mom and my kids didn't have a dad who would buy a gift for them to give me, my parents would.

Because my parents are like that.

And thankfully my mother raised me up to be an adult that can think for herself, who loves children, no matter who they were born of, and to never get involved in other couple's relationships.

Oh, she also taught me that Christmas can be one of the most joyful times of the year, even without a load of material stuff :)

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