This time, two weeks from now, I will have spent my first night back at home in Nova Scotia, at my mom& dad’s house. I will have slept alone, in my sister’s bed, because Stacy will be in Toronto meeting and spending time with our beautiful Clara until the 31st of March.
This trip home is unexpected and won’t be the usual holiday because on Thursday 1st April my mother is having surgery to remove a cancerous lump from her breast. Initially I had a hard time coming to terms with it but it’s a truth I have to face: my mom has cancer. (From this point forward though I will refer to the lump as that bastard)
I got the call a little over three weeks ago from mom informing me that her biopsy results had not been good. I will never forget that night. It was a Friday evening, and Mom and Dad were flying to Toronto to meet and spend time with Clara. They had known since the previous Wednesday but waited to tell me when they knew Andy would be back from his business trip (they know I don’t handle bad news well).
Of course there were tears; on both sides. I spent that weekend being frightened to death over what this could mean; one thing was abundantly clear though, I was going home. No way could I sit here in England whilst my mother faced this. No, she isn’t alone, she has my Dad, two of my sisters and my brother with her, not to mention a whole slew of sisters and friends. But to sit 4000 miles away and not be able to hug her and support her – no way, it just wasn’t going to happen. It took me a few days, but I got my head around the fact that I had to be strong and more importantly, positive. That is what’s going to help mom beat this bastard – positivity. So in the last few weeks we have been helping mom get on with everyday life (she celebrated her 62nd birthday on the 9th).
I waited until mom met with the surgeon last Wednesday before booking my flight as I needed to know her surgery date. The relief in her voice when I told her what day I would be flying in was clear. I can also hear that same relief in my dad’s, Stacy and John’s voice when I speak to them as well. My family needs their eldest daughter and big sister right now, and I’m not going to let them down. I will sleep beside my sister each night with Daisy curled up between us and let her know that I will always be there for her when she needs me; the same goes for my other sisters and brother. Dysfunctional though we may be, we all love each other and will always be there for one another. And together we will all give mom the support and love that she needs.
Well, now I’ve finally shared this with you all. My mom is sick and I’m scared, we all are, but we are a strong family and we will get through this together, even those who have to root for mom from afar. That’s what love is.
So… once again I’m going home; and we are going to kick that bastard’s ass.