A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Temper, Temper

I was looking for some inspiration today in terms of an interesting blog post and as my sister is participating in a type of question and answer session inspired over at plinky.com, I thought I’d follow suit (at least for today). The question that I chose to answer is:

What's the best way to blow off steam when you're angry?

This question caught my attention for a variety of reasons, namely because this past weekend I found myself very, very angry. I’m not going to say who I was angry at or why, but my anger manifested itself in a way it hasn’t in a very long time… I banged the kitchen wall hard with my right fist (side on), whilst simultaneously hitting it open-palmed with my right hand. I know this because my right wrist still hurts and my hand print is still on the wall.

I’ve always thought people who punched walls were stupid and I still do. You aren’t hurting anyone but yourself and what is gained really? But then, if I really think about it, it’s probably a much lesser form of ‘self-harm’ (well depending on how hard you actually hit the wall). And most people who self harm do so to give themselves a form of ‘release’.

I hit the wall once when I was a teenager, after a fight with my dad and I haven’t ever done it since; until this weekend. I think I was trying really hard to not let my tears win out, which is usually what happens when I’m angry. No matter, the tears still won out in the end, so what was the point? No one was there to witness my crazy behaviour; thankfully my brother was upstairs working out, however Connor did arrive at the house just as I was drying my tears, whilst trying to carry on making an Oreo Cheesecake to eat after the stifado that I was preparing for a dinner party that evening. Poor Connor didn’t hang around in the kitchen for long as he knew he was already in my ‘not impressed with you’ book and besides, it’s been a tough few months due to a few issues we’ve been having to deal with in relation to his brother so I think he knew leaving me to it was the best way to proceed. Poor mite, he wasn’t even around long enough that day to enjoy a piece of the cheesecake… which was gone by the next day. It would seem as if my husband and brother enjoyed it just a bit too much.

So to answer the question, this is what I normally try to do to assuage my anger (besides cry):

Exercise (lots and lots of exercise – shame I wasn’t angrier more often eh?)

Talk it out with someone who isn’t a cause of the anger, although sometimes I just prefer to be alone for awhile to sort through issues on my own. I will often talk to the person (if my anger is directed at an actual person) I’m angry with once I’ve calmed myself down. I believe words said in a temper are often ones we want to swallow as soon as they’ve left our mouths.

Listen to loud, angry music. One of my favourites is ‘I Hope You Die’ by the Bloodhound Gang. Sad, yet true, it is so therapeutic to me when I’m riled. The fact that it has swear words really helps.

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