A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It took me as no surprise...

Well it’s Wednesday and I’ve been sitting on this one since the 16th August so I’m just going to spit it out:

Alex is expecting a baby with his girlfriend in April. There. I’ve said it and I can’t take it back.

I never got to be a mom, other than to my fur girl. I only became a mother figure to the kids later in their lives, although Connor was still quite little, only seven, and although he asked if he could call me mum I didn’t think it a great idea for a multitude of reasons. So we settled on Jojo (a name given to me by my now 15 year old godson) and I liked it. (It was quite a shock when he was 13 and started calling me Jods, like his older brother. I likened it to how a mom must feel when she’s traded up from Mommy to Mom.) I’ve always been content to be their friend and confidant. With Alex and Connor it’s been that little bit extra at times, especially since Alex lived with us for six years.

Here’s the thing… I was kind of looking forward to one day being a Nanny or even Gramma to the boy’s children; and when Tasha recently said that of course I’d be a grandparent to all of their children it made me smile. It really did. Most stepparents I know are referred to as Nana or Grandad, especially if they’d been around for a long time before the grandkids were born. As I have, if eight years count for anything. I just thought I’d have at least another five or six years. You know, be a bit closer to 50. Not 39 for crying out loud. Bah… what can you do?

It is what it is.

I’m not going to talk about the stress, fallouts (not mine), emotional turmoil, or ‘I told you so’s’ that have been going down around these parts. Bottom line: there is a baby coming whether anyone is ready for it or not.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how we feel as the parents of a teenaged father-to-be as you can probably figure that out on your own. (I’m also only sharing this with you now that the whole family is in the know, and the kids have made it public.)

I’ve told Alex that I’m kind of looking forward to the day when I can talk to him as the parent of an 18 year old child and get his take on things; however, since he will be 37 and I will be in my 50’s I’m content to wait it out. Father time is having a laugh and going too fast as it is. I don’t need to speed things up, as I said, I can wait.


Tawny said...

You want to know what I think is the worst thing about this situation? (I'm not worried about the baby so much, s/he will be fine with such terrific and caring grandparents). It's that these two have NO IDEA what they're in for, and how much of their freedom their going to lose. In my worst moments with Clara in that first year (and even still occasionally), when I reflected on what I've given up, my consolation (other than having her, of course) was that at least I had a chance to experience the things that were important to me (my career, travel etc). I'm worried these two are giving up on those things without even having a chance to have them, and that makes me sad for them.

Laraf123 said...

I read this one week ago and didn't know what to say. I still don't. I'm sending you lots of hugs. You are one of the strongest women I know. Your family (all of them) are truly blessed by you.