Crying to Sleep...

Last night was the first night that I've had more than two hours sleep this week. Granted they were broken hours, but after five nights of barely catching any shut eye, I'll take it rather than leave it.

I've been feeling rather stressed lately for various reasons and I think its all finally catching up with me. The past few days have been good though as I've seen two movies with my husband and have enjoyed a few good meals along the way. Not great for the diet, but at times like these, the diet has to take a back seat while I battle with this sleep deprivation. I have to win this battle as loss of sanity could likely be the end result. Last night during dinner with Andy and my mother-in-law I feared I was losing the war for my sanity as I began to break down and cry during a baby-talk discussion, however I did manage to pull myself together and go on to enjoy a big fat burger washed down by two glasses of wine. Needless to say, I slept like the ambivalent baby I'm in distress over. Granted, this sleep came at 6:30 p.m. and by 10:00 I was once again wide awake. However as mentioned previously, I will take the sleep where I can.

This morning found me wide awake and in the bath by 7:00 a.m. Not how I imagined I would spend my Saturday morning, but there you have it. Andy and I did however go on to enjoy our day. I was the recipient of a gorgeous pair of earrings that Andy spoiled me with from my favourite shop, In The Pink. We also enjoyed a long refreshing walk with Molls on the beach. This combined with yet another good meal and a beer should hopefully lead the way to at least a four hour sleep tonight. I might help myself to one more drink, just to help me along. Some of you might be wondering why I don't just help myself to a sleeping pill or two, but those of you who know me well know that I hate to have to resort to a drug for my monthly, never mind to sleep. Also, at this point I will be honest and say that on Thursday night after shedding a tear or 100 over my frustration, I gave in and let Andy convince me to take not one, but two of his sleeping pills (he has been taking them as his sleep has been disturbed due to a neck problem brought on by our accident last summer). I took the pills and waited for the hour to pass when Andy said they should kick in... I watched him slowly drift off to sleep after his pill kicked in, but those little bastards weren't doing a thing for me. I remember the same thing happening when I took his superduper pain killers for a toothache a few years back... Normally those pills make him as loopey as hell, but they did nada for me.

I'm glad that April is finally here and the flowers are pushing through. I'm looking forward to a drive out in the country side as I love watching all the new born lambs frolic in the fields. Also with April brings the arrival of my family and Andy and I are both looking forward to the time we will spend with them. The break will do us both a world of good. In the meantime we are going to try and spend our weekends on long hikes, the first lengthy one being next weekend when the kids come down.

I'm also very grateful for Andy, for the patience he has with me during my more difficult moments and for walking along side me when I need him most. I know he feels for me during my struggle to sleep and I'm sure he is as eager as I am to get me back into a normal sleep pattern as this problem of mine isn't doing much for his sleeping pattern either.