A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Friday, May 28, 2004

Is It Time to Grow Up?

I just finished reading Dawn's blog entry from yesterday,The Ramblings of Globose Thought and as it was in regard to her reflections on turning the big 3-0, it got me thinking about a lot of things, especially since she was mentioning grown up things like weddings, one being well - mine.

My wedding. In October I marry a man who will at that time be 38 years old. I (as we all know, despite my delusions) will be 31. Does that mean that I am now officially a grown up? It doesn't feel like it, and frankly I'm in no hurry to feel grown up. Sometimes I feel that this isn't really my life, that I'm looking at all of this from a distance. I want to spend the rest of my life with Andy, he is the one for me. But sometimes I have to think, why a wedding? Why something so grown up, when half the time I still feel as if I'm playing house. I think half the reason it all doesn't feel as real to me is that I didn't move myself out of my mother's house until I was 30 years old. I was comfortable and secure there. I came and went as I pleased and for a few years off and on, I barely lived there. I just couldn't ever bring myself to completely leave the comfort of my parent's home, and let's face it - I was happy there. I don't, however regret the life I led up until I moved out. Some people might think I needed to live out on my own prior to leaving the nest to live with the man I am going to marry. Maybe so, but I knew that I wasn't leaving until it was for good, no going backwards and forwards when the funds ran low, relationships broke up, etc. Or maybe, quite frankly, I just wasn't ready to be 'that grown up', even though I was certainly 'living it up'.

So, I have no regrets about the past - I've partied and traveled a little bit with girlfriends and now look forward to a life with Andy. He has a lot of grown up responsibilities, that of course are naturally now shared with me, however I feel that I can still walk thru life taking on these 'grown up' responsibilities and all that it entails, as I've been doing it for awhile now. But deep down, I still feel 18 years old. I want to look at life thru the eyes of someone younger, experience life to its fullest. Yes, I'm - ack - 31, I'm living with the man I want to spend my life with (and enjoying all the perks, *cough* sex whenever we want, that comes with it, and yes, I will be a married woman by the end of the year, but I'm ready for that as well. Life has been so good for me in the last 5 years, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. I look forward to the next 10 years and what it entails. If its half as good as the last five, bring it on.

What R U Thinking?

Last night while we were walking on the waterfront, I noticed a number of young women, some not so young, who were dressed in the style of clothing that left their bellies bare. I have no problem looking at women with trimmer bodies dressed like this, but why do women with a lot of flab assume that they look sexy, or even just nice, dressed like this?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking women with bigger bellies, mine's not so trim either. I just think these girls are selling themselves short. They could be wearing something much more flattering to their figures and showing off their nicer assets, i.e. legs, arms, even cleavage. A woman with a large stomach should maybe consider wearing a nice one piece dress, or if not into that, nice pants/skirt/shorts and a nice sleeveless top. I find if a woman with a bigger belly dresses with style and class she can look so much more appealing than this belly-baring stuff that ends up just making them look silly and a bit pathetic. I believe all women should have a confident, healthy attitude towards themselves, and be proud. But sadly, this over-confidence is just not working for these girls.

Beauty At Its Best

This picture says it all... my boyfriend, Brad in an epic film. He is the most beautiful man on this planet (well my planet anyway) and was made for films such as this. Granted, the storyline wasn't overly strong, Brad had a few cheesy lines, and if not for Eric Bana, I fear all would have been lost. Brad is a brilliant actor, he's proven it in such films as Ocean's 11, Snatch and Fight Club, however this movie, although ok, was not the best portrayal of his acting abilities.

Let's just face it everyone - I am what I am and just seeing Brad Pitt (not to mention other gorgeous men) run around with practically nothing on for nearly three hours, and speak in a tortured voice, is enough to satisfy me. Doesn't get any more shallow than this I fear.

Andy was able to make it through this film with only a few 'comments'. He knows that I'd been loving Brad long before his own arrival into my life and I guess he figured it wasn't worth losing his own over a few jokes. However I did hear him say, with feeling I might add, 'Ah no' at one of the more intense scenes with Eric Bana.

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