A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Family Affairs

I had a busy day today as firstly Andy and I had an appointment Child Welfare Services to discuss our concerns about Jane and the children. I had a quick bite for lunch prior to taking Andy's mom to the hospital for her pysio. Upon my return home late this afternoon I ended up having a conversation with my mother that resulted in us talking about the situation with Tawny and Sandra. I told my mother that I had left a message on Sandra's machine reaffirming when I would be in town and could we possibly hook up Tuesday night, provided she wasn't going away for her birthday.

I told her that I would not be going out of my way other than arranging a solid plan for Tuesday night as I had an agenda I wanted to stick to. When I told Mom that as much as I would love to have both Tawny and Sandra shop for a wedding dress with me, I couldn't expect it of Sandra as she doesn't like to do that. (Sandra's words) Even if she did it would be difficult as Tawny and Sandra are not speaking to each other. It basically puts me in an uncomfortable situation and I refuse to be stressed out over it. I have a certain amount of time and if Sandra can't make the time to see me due to work commitments, or personal commitments then there is nothing I can do about it. I would love to see Sandra and Brad, to see their apartment but something tells me that if I do see Sandra it will have to be at her work. Fine... I will see how I feel when I get to Toronto.

I can understand how my mother doesn't want to take sides and just wants them to get over it. I can see how frustrating this is, not just for her, but for all involved - but I refuse to ask Tawny to extend the olive branch (again) for my sake. Tawny feels as if she has been wronged, but has tried to make amends. I know part of Sandra's story, but not all of it. All I know is that Tawny is going out of her way to make sure my stay in Toronto is a great one and I love her for it. I will be lucky if I see Sandra but if I don't, I'll be ok with that too. I love her too, for all her 'different' ways. Like I mentioned to my mom, when it comes to John and Sandra, I just don't expect much and therefore am not disappointed. Maybe a bad way of looking at it, but we all have to do what works for us. I'm going home to hopefully de-stress, not the reverse.

Speaking of Families

Its the big baby craze again. Tawny was speaking of it on her blog, and as people have been asking me about my having babies I just want to say that No I won't be having babies. Not as it stands now. Andy has three children and a vasectomy. At the moment I have a whole shit-load of issues to contend with and don't need the added stress of trying to bring a child into this world. I love babies. I was meant to be a mother. I'm angry that Andy's three beautiful kids have the mother they do - is there really any justice in that? Nope. However babies grow up to be kids and kids grow up to be teenagers, young adults, etc., with a WHOLE load of problems attached, and God knows how much worse these will be in 10/20 years time. I'm not sure I'm up to facing that. Yes, many say its worth it, and I'm sure it is, but we will see what happens. In the meantime Andy won't be having a reversal and by the time we decide we might be ready for kids it will likely be too late. So... people who quiz non-mothers about babies, remember, its not always an issue of just not wanting them.

Anyway, its a nice evening and Andy and I are off to do something half-way enjoyable! I hope those at home who have the day off are enjoying Canada Day!!!!!

No comments: