2. Ever believing Cat when she said ‘we’ll only be out a few hours, home by midnight – promise’
3. Molly doesn’t like canoes – at all.
4. Having everyone like you isn’t that important.
5. Honesty isn’t always the best policy; sometimes it’s better to just keep it zipped.
6. To drink a lot more water in between ALL THAT WINE.
7. That being amicable with an immigration officer wasn’t the right choice and got me nowhere, at least being a bitch would have felt much more satisfying.
8. Some people just wear two faces, nothing will change that. And it doesn’t mean you have to like it.
9. There are those that don’t put their children’s sense of well-being before their own.
10. You never, ever move your bag to the trunk when someone could be watching, especially when your passport is in that bag.
11. Partying all night on the beach till 5 am with Cat and thinking someone would get us up in time to catch a 10 am flight.
12. Falling down in front of your friends never brings about sympathy.
13. Always double check that your husband hasn’t left the keys to your car in a Venice hotel, when your car is parked at Manchester Airport.
14. Never let the boy’s chase your sister’s white cat till she runs under the car and gets stuck in the engine.
15. Laying on a beach drinking beer and forgetting sun block is just the stupidest thing ever.
16. Bitter women will call the police with horrible, false accusations about good men for their own twisted sense of revenge.
17. It’s better not to jump up too quickly after you’ve missed your chair.
18. Pushing your cousin into the corner of the TV so hard that he cracks his ribs isn’t a way to earn your Aunt’s love and affection. (Thankfully she forgave my 10 year old self).
19. Sending someone in your place to do your job doesn’t always work out the way you’d hope.
20. That I should have got the clasp fixed on my beautiful (favourite) bracelet before it fell off my wrist for the millionth and last time.
21. Sometimes if we don’t take the chance, we miss it forever. Sometimes there are no second chances. (But sometimes there are :)
22. Wax is a bitch to get off a carpet.
23. Nettles don’t hurt that much, but they do when you grab a whole handful.
24. Insomnia is a real asshole.
25. Laying on an outcropping of rock while the tide is coming in isn’t a great idea, especially when your mobile phone is also on that rock.
26. Cleaning the kitchen or bathroom with bleach whilst wearing a favourite outfit is bound to end in ruin.
27. That I suck at math.
28. Always make sure everyone has their passport before leaving the house, not when you are an hour away from home.
29. Keep Stacy and Alex far apart from each other when things like number 28 happen.
30. Never admit to who you are unless you know who and why the person is asking (getting slapped in the face by some crazy girl is not nice, nor is the reaction I have when someone strikes me)
31. Watching the aftermath of what it does to your family when you’ve gotten so drunk you hurt yourself is the most horrible feeling ever.
32. Always hang the ‘do not disturb’ sign outside the hotel room door when housekeeping is making the rounds and you really don’t want to be disturbed.
33. Sitting still when a wasp is around is not the right thing to do.
34. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can be embarrassing as well as hurtful.
35. If you are going to skinny dip, be prepared to swim for awhile when other people turn up at your spot at the lake.
36. If there is fox shit around, keep your dog well away from it.
37. I should have listened to my mother much more than I did.
No comments:
Post a Comment