A Canadian gal living in Britain with 3 men and a dog. Wine helps.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Quote of the Day:Sometimes you need to give others what they want before you can do what you want. --Unknown.

Song of the Day:Bad Timing --Blue Rodeo

Wednesday Workout:
Nada yet. I had myself convinced this week that I would take Mary's Body Bar Class at noon, however I just couldn't get myself upstairs. I've since told myself that I will go to the gym this evening, but that remains to be seen.

So Many Mixed Emotions:I'm still so very excited to be going to live with Andy after all this time and deep down I'm much more excited than I was in August, not to mention much more prepared. These past three months have given me a different perspective of it all, mainly that no matter what, I need to be in the UK with Andy. I don't think I was quite ready to go in August and everything happened so quickly... gave up my job, had a week to pack, say goodbye, etc. Since my return, lol, I have had three months to relax a bit more and spend more time with my family and friends. It was nice in a way to not have to work full time and I seemed to have survived on less money. I guess I can thank Andy and my parents for that. Andy for helping me with my payments and mom and dad for letting me come back home rent free. I will have to make it up to them, for sure. So, back to what I meant to say originally... as excited as I am to be going to Andy, I'm feeling tremendous guilt to leave the family just before Christmas. Dad seems to be ok, he sounded pleased when I told him I was leaving, however Mom and Stacy aren't saying much at all. Stacy told me last night that she will miss me as it will be lonely. I told her that John would be out for the night on Christmas Eve, so it won't be that bad. Her reply??? 'Yeah like that's a lot of fun, it's like he can't wait to go again and while he's here he's grumpy'. LOL, we'll see I guess. I feel bad though, especially since I'm sure Mom was pretty certain I wouldn't be going until AFTER Christmas. I know that she is very happy for us, but I know its a bittersweet happiness. I know that I will miss my family BIG TIME at Christmas as well, however I have had many, many Christmases here and its time for me to be with my love. They will be alright, we all will. At least I have the thought that the four of them - Mom, Dad, Bud and Stacy will all be together. If I don't go to Andy, he wakes up alone on Christmas Day, and that just can't be allowed to happen, especially now that I have the go-ahead.

Interrupted Sleep:So... last night I was plagued with dreams of facing immigration. Good Lord I hope this doesn't happen everynight. There is no way of getting out of it all, so I will just have to be tough and do it.

Christmas To-Do's:I now have a ton of things to do before I leave, namely get all of my Christmas presents bought. I don't think I will have a problem this year, I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to helping Andy do a little shopping when I'm at my new home. I can't wait to be in London at this time of year, especially after seeing Love Actually. I told Andy that we must stay in London for the night.

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