Surprising myself

I've just spent the last few hours baking and prepping for my Candle Party tomorrow evening. After a few short hours (and careful instruction from my mom) I now have chocolate macaroons & cherry balls chilling in the fridge. Hopefully there will be some resemblance to Gina's and people don't discreetly spit them back into their napkins!

I also have a hedgehog (cheeseball) chilling, which I at least know will be ok, as I've made one a few times prior. Tomorrow I will chop up some pita and vegetables for a tray to lay out with some of the dips I have (a few I even brought all the way form NS).

This is the first time I've really sat down all day as I also spent the afternoon at the Brigg Garden Centre with Wendy and Beryl. We wanted to check out the wonderful Christmas display they put on each year and weren't disappointed. After we had a scrummy lunch, I quite cheerfully dropped about £70 on Christmas decorations including lights for the outside of the house, something Andy and I have wanted to do since living together, but not so easily done when linked to three other homes. Now that we have a single family home there's no reason not to decorate it. I've already laid out a few Christmas bits but will go full out next weekend when we go pick out our tree.

I do so want this Christmas to be lovely and I'm trying to roll with the whole spirit notion. I think it might just be working, and may even kick into overdrive as soon as I break out the Bailey's on ice ;) and maybe a movie or two - as Dawn says, Elf anyone?.

I only wish I knew how to make apple cider!

Top of my Christmas List

Years ago, I read this book:



I adore Ken Follett's writing and The Pillars of the Earth held me enraptured for the short time it took me to read it. It is hands down one of my most favoured books. I keep meaning to read it again.

Now, more than ever, there is no reason not to. Because not only has Ken finally written another book he has written this:



which amazingly enough, happens to be a sequel to Pillars.

I've let my husband know that to find both hardback books under the tree on Christmas morning would make me a very happy girl.

Something similar to disbelief :)

I say this for a few reasons:

~ Today I started and just about completed my Christmas shopping for those back at home.

~ Its quiet and peaceful here as both boys are at their mother's for the evening.

~ And as I sit here I'm listening to the whoosh of the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher.

After nearly four long years I am again living in a home with a dishwasher. When I first moved here I didn't think I'd ever get used to not having one. Washing dishes by hand? Ick. However we didn't have room for one in our last little house and after a few years went by, I slowly got used to washing up by hand. Unfortunately, my hands have paid the penalty for it.

Now that we are living in a bigger house and I finally agreed to us purchasing one (believe it or not, it didn't seem as important anymore!?!) Its going to take some getting used to, but I don't think it will take long :) And with Andy's parents and sister joining us for Christmas Dinner, I think I will definitely be thankful for this mod con come Christmas Day.

Not to mention whenever we have any other small gatherings :)

For every season...

Wow. So much has happened since I last blogged I truly don't know where to start.

I have been going through a few things of my own, however they are nothing I can't surpass. Ultimately family and friends are what is most important in life and I thank God everyday for these blessings in my life, both here and at home.

In the past month I have been fortunate enough to feel the warmth of my mother's arms around me, of her unconditional love, to laugh and cry with my sisters, brother and close friends, to feel the embrace of all my boys upon my return to the UK. I have felt the joy of our very dear friends Valentina and Mike, upon the birth of their beautiful baby girl, Lilyan Arwen; I have also felt the sadness of a childhood friend at the loss of her father, a man who was taken from this world much too early.

Life gives us some unexpected curve balls, for sure. It is who we have with us that helps us through these times. Be they good or bad (times ;).

Because life has thrown us a few curve balls lately, both in our personal and work lives, Andy and I decided to treat ourselves to a break in London. We stayed in luxury at the Marriott Hotel London, where we were treated to a champagne breakfast and enjoyed the delights of the wonderfully 'wicked' show Wicked, in the West End of London.

Now I feel the cold in the air as it quickly changes from Autumn into Winter and I'm thinking of things to come. I have Christmas to prepare for. This year I'm actually going to try and make it the best it can be, and actually look forward to it. Andy and I have vowed to really make a start at creating our own traditions, as a family. This I am looking forward to more than anything.

Anticipation...

I've just finished watching Grey's and between sipping some wine and having Molly stare at me intermittently, I'm thinking of events to come, eagerly anticipating most.

Tomorrow I'm shopping and lunching with two close friends and tomorrow night my husband is taking me out to a lovely restaurant to celebrate our third year anniversary, since I will be in Canada for the actual date. I've bought a new outfit to wear for him and I don't know if I'm more psyched about that or the actual meal. The top can be either sexily racy or more modest depending on how I will wear it, but either way I think he's going to like it just a lot, especially if I prove to be brave.

On Saturday Andy, Alex and I are paintballing with friends from work and I'm a bit apprehensive about this, as I fear I'm going to get creamed. Both Andy and Rob have expressed an interest in popping more than few off at me. Hopefully I will surprise them and myself by proving to be a better shot, but I think I stand more chance of winning the next edition of Britain's Next Top Model.

Right.

Some have called me crazy for doing this just before heading home, and perhaps they are correct - I'm more than likely to be covered in bruises on Sunday but my mind will be otherwise preoccupied as I try and figure out what to pack for my journey home on Monday...

Breathing In

Today I'm still feeling a bit tired but other than that I've completely rallied (as I knew I would). It wouldn't have been so easy if I A) Didn't have the husband that I do, and B) Work with an amazing bunch of people.

In hindsight, I see that the mistake I made was one that anyone could have made whilst distracted. It still doesn't make myself any less mad, but I realize there is nothing I can do about it but move on, which I'm beginning to do.

As for everything else that was bugging me, well a lot of its still on my mind but I had my little 'purge' and for that I feel a lot better. Its the people that can't rant and rave every now and then that I feel for.

The weather here has turned amazingly cold - I can't believe its only the middle of September. It feels like the first of November. Either way, I'll breath in that crisp air and get on with it. I've got bigger things to worry about - like what to pack.

The word crazy isn't in my blog title for no reason...

Rational me says that tomorrow morning I'm going to feel much better. Calm and easy-going me, knows that in a few days, even hours, this will pass and I will look back and wonder how I could let myself fall into this little corner of crazy I enter into at least twice a year.

Maybe I need psychological help. Maybe I'm beyond that. I have had psychological help before for variant reasons and I don't know if it helps. I think deep down we all have this little, tiny piece that is utterly and completely nuts. I like to think that I'm being half-way healthy, even if I save it all up until my head feels as if it might explode and then bang, I let it out. That has to be better than letting it all build up and not doing anything about it. I'm trying not to focus too much on it as I sit here tonight. I should be up in bed beside my husband but instead I choose to be downstairs drinking my diet pepsi and trying to get some work done, even thought its after midnight. Once finished this post, I'll get down to work. Sleep won't be coming easy tonight.

The damn inside me has been trying to break ever since I was the cause of a screw-up at work on Wednesday. I've received a load of support from my co-workers over it, and I do realize that I am human and prone to making mistakes, but I have such a feeling of disappointment hanging over my head. I haven't screwed up this big in well, never. And to do so at this point in the job just multiplies the level of disappointment I am feeling in myself. It'll pass, I'm sure of it, but at the moment, I'm really feeling it... and to talk about it in this forum is taking a lot of guts on my behalf. I'm not looking for a rub on the back to reaffirm that mistakes are made, I just want to be honest with myself - I know I'm not the only one who has made a mistake - I just have to learn from it and remember that its nothing to be wrapped in a blanket of humiliation over. We all go through tough moments in life, its just important to ensure we come out on the positive side...

Tonight though, Andy and I watched The Last Kiss, probably not such a good idea when I was feeling slightly out of sorts to begin with. I suppose because of this, it brought up a lot of old, forgotten emotions within me. It really made me angry and it got me thinking of certain unpleasant events in the long ago past. As I lay in bed my mind started whirling out of control, fretting over work, my broodiness, my family, going home, and these old, old memories. I thought my head was going to explode. But my husband was there for me tonight and he's spent the last hour and a half listening to me as I ventured into crazytown and back. But I'm back now, and feeling that little bit better.

Time to go and get some work done, leave that messed up place behind, at least for another 6-8 months :)

They say Canadians are the friendliest bunch...

If you are an animal lover, hell, even if you're not, you need to to go here and check out this amazing slidewshow.
If I'd have been with Molly I'd have wet myself.


Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday to one of the sweetest women I know, shortly to become an amazing mom.

What am I missing?

I make sure they get up for school in the morning.
I make lunch and dinner for them everyday (they usually help themselves at breakfast).
I clean up after their meals.
I wash, hang out and iron their clothes.
I schedule and then drive them to their appointments, and sit waiting patiently, sometimes for over an hour.
I'm in contact with the school over attendance, course work and behaviour issues.
I attend parent/teacher nights.
I make alternate arrangements for their care when I myself can't do it.
I set boundaries.
I often listen to whinging and moaning as to why they aren't allowed to do something.
I make sure they have their bath/shower and are in bed at a decent hour.
I help with homework.
I sometimes have to hear an awful lot of back chat.
I taxi them to where they need to be.
I take them shopping.
I buy food that they like to eat.
I ensure that they get enough vegetables in their diet.
I get loads of cuddles.
I spend time with them talking about what is important to them, be it the certain bike part that want, or what they might want to do when they are grown.
I take them to movies and other activities and often enjoy it as much as I would with a mate.
I comfort them when they are upset.
I have a great laugh with them.
I listen.
I'm always there when they need me.
I love them.

Whilst in conversation regarding children and mobile phones, someone insinuated that my opinion really doesn't matter, or basically I don't know what I'm talking about, because I don't have children of my own. Her actual words were 'Your not living in the real world'.

Other than missing out on pregnancy, labour and delivery, and the initial few years of their life, I would have thought that I do the same thing any mother does. Some would reckon I do more than some mothers do.

Will somebody tell me what the difference is? And don't tell me its love because I wouldn't do what I do if love wasn't a factor.

10th September, 32 Years Ago
A day my life was changed forever...



Happy Birthday Beautiful.

What an amazing woman you turned out to be. I can't remember my life before you came along, and I certainly can't imagine my life without you.

Going Home

Yesterday, I purchased my ticket to go back home for 18 days.

For nearly four years I've lived abroad in a country I was always fascinated with, but never actually thought I'd live in. I've been embraced by the people in the town I now call home and they have certainly helped in my quest to make a new life for myself. I love my job, but more importantly, the people I work with, and for. I have such an amazing group of friends now that it actually brings a pain to my heart to know that someday, I will have to say good-bye to them as well.

I've been totally enveloped in the love of Andy's family, especially his parents. His children are another matter - I have come to love his children like my own and I know the feelings are reciprocated in full, at least with the boys. Natasha and I are slowly but surely finding our way.

In this new world, I have settled into a life that I never envisaged for myself, primarily having stepchildren, but it is a life I choose to live, not only because I love my husband and would do anything for him, but because now I could never imagine being without them. I realize that wherever I may go I will have the love and support of my husband and our family. The fact that I get to share this amazing new existence with the love of my life is astounding. Not very many people are this fortunate.

Andy always promised me that he would back me 100% in all my endeavours, and one very important wish of mine was to ensure I got to go home to Nova Scotia at least once a year. So far, he has kept that promise to me. We are lucky enough to be able to travel often and I look forward to every place that is yet to be discovered by the two of us. We've already been to quite a few countries but here is where I tell you, I never, ever get the feeling down deep inside of me that I have at this very moment, when I'm holding the ticket in my possession that will take me home.

Home to my first family, my mother and father and my precious sisters and brother. To the people who have known me my whole life, and if not that long, than for the better part of it. Home to all my oldest friends and places where I have some of my best memories. Home to breathe the fresh coastal air and walk in the places that I can only dream of doing from so far away, especially during one of my favourite seasons (autumn isn't so noticeable in this part of the world). Home to where I fell in love with the man who would end up taking me so far, but in so many variant and positive ways.

My heart is bursting and I just want to shout it aloud:

I'm going home :)

Indecisive

The great procrastinator - that's me. As they say back home - she doesn't know whether to shit or get off the pot.

As many of you are probably already aware, I have cut off my hair yet again in recent months, something that isn't hard to do considering the rate at which it grows back and which I will of course be endeavouring to do anyway. A few weeks ago just prior to leaving for Greece (I'll talk about that in a few moments), I dyed it (and a considerable amount of the carpet - don't even get me going about carpet in a bathroom...) a dark brown. Now that the shock of being dark has worn off and I don't find myself looking twice every time I pass my reflection, I've decided I want to go lighter again. Not blonde, but slightly lighter. I think I will visit the salon this time around.

Something else that has been on my mind for quite some time is the possibility of getting another tattoo. I definitely want one, but cannot decide if I want it on my foot or my inner wrist. If its on my foot it impedes me from working out for a few weeks and hence yet one more decision - where on my foot to place it something that is proving more awkward than I'd hoped. Another problem is that if I go with my wrist, I have to come up with a whole new tattoo idea because the idea for my foot is meant for my foot only. So it would seem that ultimately I will end up with three tattoos, but I'm only looking to have one done in the immediate future. If I can ever make up my mind that is. I often wonder why I was the one in my family cursed with this ridiculous affliction.
















Greece was extremely hot, beautiful and very full up with two argumentative teenagers and one 11 year old. We had fun spending most mornings at the beach and our afternoons by the pool. We did a few rides which the kids adored such as the banana boat, especially when I was hanging off the side of the boat, head mostly submerged, and still managed to pull myself back upright - I can still see the shock on the guy's face who was watching us from the boat. I'm such a Zena :) We also had a day out on a pirate cruise where we all enjoyed walking the plank numerous times. The food choices at the resort weren't bad either considering we only had one buffet restaurant to choose from and the boys were willing to try a few Greek dishes which pleased us.


Surprisingly the highlight of the evenings were a huge bouncy castle and the nightly round of Bingo, which all three kids looked forward to (and won on the very last night). One disappointing factor was that throughout the whole week one or another of us was afflicted with some illness/problem such as headache, an abundance of bug bites, Tasha's even leading to a grossly swollen foot, and an ear infection that I came down with over the last few days. I do think Andy and I are both of the consensus that we won't be travelling all inclusive in Europe again and that we will keep Greece for ourselves in the future.

Its a love/hate thing for sure

FaceBook: Whilst talking to Darla the other night on the phone, for well over an hour and a half, one of our topics of conversation was this phenomenon that seems to have taken over the IT world. Darla stated that it was the bain of her existence. She cannot understand why anyone would ask to be your friend and then never speak to you. The answer to that is plain and simple: for popularity purposes only - its a race to see how many 'friends' you can amass.

Both Darla and I have agreed that we don't seek out people to be friends with unless they are in fact our friends/relations and Dar can't even bring herself to ever add anyone as her friend, she just sits back and lets them come to her. While at the same time she wants to be friends with certain people who she does in fact know are members of FB. In the beginning I contacted a few old acquaintances from high school and often added a personal note, but now I will only ask people if they are important to me, and I rarely ever accept someone if I barely know them. I can happily report though, that out of all the friends who have contacted me we've caught up on the basics either through email or posting. One of my favourite things about logging into FB is seeing a notification that I've had a friend request, and it turns out to be someone I indeed what to reconnect with. Sad and pathetic, maybe -but I am grateful that FB is in play because I'm now in touch with a few people that I care very much for (i.e. two cousins that live far away). It just makes it so much easier.

My one problem with FB (and maybe I'm not being fair here)is that many of my fellow bloggers have seemed to slack off big style when it comes to blogging (myself included). This is disappointing to me because as an expat, I had come to look forward to reading these blogs a few times a week. There are a few of you who still blog regularly (and you two know who you are ;) and I really appreciate you for it. A few have blogged a bit more in recent days and I've read each line with such expectation, I'm reminding myself of an addict who keeps licking their cracked lips in sweaty anticipation of the next hit. Again, sad and pathetic maybe, but I make no excuses.

I am so grateful that my move to the UK came at a time when emails/blogs etc. were in play, and better yet, that long distance rates have improved so dramatically. Because of Emails, Blogs, and now FB, I am now able to keep in almost daily contact with my sisters/friends, etc. but I will say this, nothing beats hearing a familiar voice on the other end of the line, so clear that you cannot believe that there is an entire ocean and over 4000+ miles separating you.

Longbottom's Last Day with us...



Everyday Dawn spent here with us in England was an amazing time and we managed to fit in a few fun trips between all the shopping that we somehow did without really planning to. Although we didn't get to Glasgow (that can happen next year when Fern is here), we made it to the Lake District, Hubbards Hills and to Halifax to see Dawn's beautiful friends Heeae and Johnny. It was such a treat for all of us to have here here and it was a sad moment when we said good-bye to her at the airport yesterday afternoon. My only consolation from crying outright was knowing that I will be seeing her at home in October if all goes according to plan.



We spent Thursday afternoon at the beach where Molly and the boys happily spent a few hours paddling and playing with the tire they always find while there. Molly would willingly retrieve that thing from the water countless times if we didn't stop her.

After a little cajoling we finally managed to get the boys to pack up and began our walk back to the car as a fighter jet continuously circled around us during its practice run to the bombing range a few miles up the road.

Dawn and I then showered and got ready to head out for the evening. I figured what better way to spend my mate's last night with us than to do her absolute favourite thing in England - play the pub quiz!



We headed out to the Grovsnor where we met up with Wendy, Beryl and Linda, Helen and Trev, Andy and Dave. It was a night full of laughs and I look forward to many more Quiz Nights when my Canadian and English folk are together.

The Pink Ladies Club







With the help of my very clever parents-in-law, we managed to come 2nd!

And the tone for the evening was set...



Dawn arrived on Saturday morning looking gloriously beautiful and I saw a number of people smiling out of the corner of my eye as I jumped up and down when I saw her walk through the arrivals door. My excitement was exacerbated by the fact that Andy and I had just that moment got there ourselves.

Despite the fact that Andy, Dawn and I were shattered late Saturday afternoon, our Canada BBQ was great fun and we all managed to keep going until after 1:00 a.m.



So far we've been to a movie, to a Bodypump class at the gym and today, to one of my favourite restaurants, The Mill House, for lunch with Beryl.

The wait is almost over!

It's just after 10:30 p.m. and I will soon take myself off to bed. Whether I will sleep or not is another story. The reason behind this is that tomorrow morning we pick Sage Miller Longbottom up at Gatwick Airport. We celebrate her arrival tomorrow night with the postponed Canada Day BBQ, and next weekend Andy will have the pleasure of turning 41 with two extremely wicked, and I should mention younger, babes.

Here's to three weeks of making even more fantastic memories.

There's no point in denying it...

Yesterday while I was at work I received a phone call from my father-in-law Dave, saying that he had been down to the house to check on Molly since it was thundering quite a lot and he knows how much it upsets her. He was a bit worried because he couldn't find her anywhere.

I couldn't help smiling as I thanked him for being such a sweet and devoted Grandad, but he wasn't to worry as she was at her friend's house for the day. He laughed, be it the fact that Molly spends the days I work at Abbey's house, or that he's finally accepted that silly or not, he is Molly's Grandad. Wendy never fought Grandma, but then again, how could a woman that has upwards of six dogs in her house at any given time, argue the fact?

I knew this clan was the right one to marry into.

Addiction

The new hoover that we bought around Christmas time proved to be as useful at vacuuming as a little plastic vacuum you'd find in any pre-school. Once the start button broke, Andy gave in and took it back, swearing he was just going to buy another Henry, a little pull hoover he'd used for years and swore by. Now I was never overly fussy for the Henry myself but since I knew it worked better than the broken hoover, and that the much coveted Dyson was so far out of our price range, I relented.

Andy and Alex surprised me though. They didn't come home with a Henry at all. They came home with this:

Its called Hetty and is the newest model from the Henry range. The boys were so pleased with themselves for this purchase, figuring I'd love it if only for its colour. I could only laugh. Hetty is cute and she's not a bad hoover, and I had just begun to accept her. Until...

Until I borrowed something from my friend called a VAX, to actually clean the carpets. Elaine loaned me the Vax Hoover at the same time and now I don't even want to touch poor Hetty. I want to put her back in her box and take her back to the store for a full refund, and get myself a VAX. Hetty works well enough if your willing to get on your hands and knees to get the dog hair up with the hose, but the Vax just sucks it all up, especially those little lint balls that Hetty won't touch. I can't believe I'm blogging about a household appliance, its really astounding me if I were to be truthfully honest. But I need this hoover. I need this hoover like an addict needs his next fix of speed.

A Beloved Aunty

The Allenby clan were out last night for a family dinner at a lovely restaurant called The Beeches. Wendy had planned this a few months previous but didn't tell us there was any particular reason for the evening, we figured it was just another occasions for her to have an enjoyable evening with her family. Although the evening was exactly that, it was also in memory of Wendy's much loved Aunty Olive who sadly passed in the winter, leaving Wendy a very small sum of money. Wendy thought that this would be one of the best ways to share a portion of Aunty Olive's gift, and of course of celebrating her life. Which it certainly was. I believe she would be proud of the wonderful devotion of the family she has left behind.

My Home and Native Land



I didn't manage to post yesterday as I was afflicted with a very fuzzy head from a small gathering that involved a lot of Chinese food, and way too much vodka and wine. Dancing with a few of my friends in the living room at 12 a.m. soon led to some very competitive contortions that left one of my friends very sore the next morning. The things we do when we are drunk.

Connor spent most of yesterday running around wrapped in the Canadian Flag, telling his mate how it wasn't fair his Aunty Stacy gets to go to Mercy River whenever she wants and he doesn't.

When I consider where I am at this moment in time, here in England in our new home with my fantastic family, so many good friends around us, and a job I thoroughly enjoy I can finally say that England is now home to me too. Its also both amusing, and touching to realize that not only has England had this affect on me, but that my Canadian roots are rubbing off on the boys, something that is visible in small ways, but is definitely there. I'm over-joyed that they have the opportunity to experience the love of two great countries.

I proudly wore my red Canadian sweats from Roots all day, and my husband hung our Canadian Flag outside in the garden. We do intend on still having our Canada Day BBQ, however it will have to wait a few weeks until the ground is once again dry. But it matters not to me on what date I celebrate the country that I carry within me no matter where I am.

And any opportunity to have a party works for all of us.

I honestly don't know what to think...



I think maybe these girls have gone past it, but what do I know about these things? I think by the time Gerri had left they were fading fast.

No matter where I am though, when I hear a certain Spice Girl song it warps me back in time in Halifax when myself and a few girlfriends found ourselves in the Officer's Mess of an English naval ship that Cat had managed to score invites to. Oh the memories.

Row your boat some more

The north of Britain has been hit in recent weeks by massive downpours that have been causing a high level of flooding (see post about the dogs almost drowning). On Monday it came down so hard and fast that it made the rain of recent weeks look like a small shower. Most of our roads have been impassible and many people had to be escorted out by boat, their front lawns/roads are so completely submerged. Some have even lost their lives. Now, when those hit hardest are still wondering what will happen (as they can't go home due to high waters), we've been told to expect a rainstorm that will make Monday's pale in comparison. Will it come to pass? I certainly hope not, but I do hope that the counties and towns batten down and prepare as best as possible. I seem to remember a small coastline back in Canada that didn't quite heed the warnings for something called Hurricane Juan.

Andy and I were were going to host our first house party/BBQ this weekend, in honour of Canada Day but decided to postpone it for a few weeks until some proper summer weather decides to come our way. If it does rain like they say it will, I'm staying put, as all the roads get closed off and I can't be assed to sit in traffic for two hours to get back home. I won't complain though because honestly, its small potatoes compared to what some people have had to endure.